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My name is no

My name is no

Love or hate the song, sometimes we need to channel our inner Meghan Trainor and tell the world, My Name is  No.

Sure the song is about letting a man know she’s good… his advances are not welcome. She’s perfectly happy as she is.

Now imagine swapping the man in the song for every request you get to attend, help, volunteer, or take on another project.

Self care is about taking care of just that… self.

Awareness of self is incredibly powerful. When we listen to our heart and our intuition, we already know what we need to do.

When it comes to self care, we understand how we are suppose to eat, but more often than not, we choose the cheap and easy way. We’ve been told getting 8 hours of sleep is best, but we still stay up to binge watch Netflix. We know exercise is important, but sometimes the couch is too comfy.

There is another side to self care.

Many of us have been brought up to be good girls and boys and say yes to practically everything.  Women are particularly notorious for this.  That damn yes girl likes to rear her ugly head, and before you know it, you’ve agreed to spearhead another fundraiser you didn’t want anything to do with.

With the overwhelming requests that come into my daily life to give, volunteer, or participate, I have had to get really good with one thing.

My absolute no list.

My absolute no list is things that I simply have made the decision not to do anymore.  It doesn’t make me a bad person because I don’t want to watch the neighbour’s kids.  It means I don’t want to watch the kids. Period.

I’m not a bad person because I don’t want to go to the dinner party. It means, I choose other things for my reasons, and it’s nobody else’s business. My needs are my needs, and they require no explanation.

It means, if it’s not an immediate yes, in my gut, it’s a no.

However, grey areas come up, and you really don’t know if you want to say yes to taking that volunteer position at the school. You didn’t have that gut reaction of no.

So does that mean yes?

Is it a maybe

Give yourself some ‘think’ time. Let the person know you will get back to them in a couple of days. This gives you the time to decide if you truly want to say yes.

Guilt has no business being part of the decision making process. If you choose to decline, you can reply with, “thanks for thinking of me. I will not be able to participate, but may I suggest _____”. There is no reason to defend your reply, but it is nice to offer an alternative.

Here’s the power that comes from saying no…

It gives you the opportunity to give of yourself where you choose and from your most amazing self, and releases the things that bring down your energy.

I am asked all the time to ‘come and do a Zumba® demo’.  No really… all the time. Once I figured out, I really didn’t want to be driving all over to other people’s events, conferences, and functions, it made it easy to say no.

I realized most requests were actually an abuse of my talent, gift, and time.

But more important than that, I realized by saying yes to all the opportunities, as the people who call me put it, I was not able to give of myself to the organizations I really wanted to.

Now, it’s thank you for thinking of me, but I am unable to assist.  I say it with love, I thank them that they thought of me, I wish them success, and I do not elaborate on my reason.

I felt so damn free!

Think about it…What would you really like to say no to? What’s taking up your time and energy preventing you from serving as you choose?

Maybe it’s time to take a note from Meghan Trainer.  Sometimes, My Name is NO.

Love
Karen

 

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Comments

  1. Suzanne says:

    Good for you and well said.

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